And the Winner Is...

My oldest daughter's volleyball team is on a winning streak!  Too bad they have 1 more game and then tournaments - they finally won their 1st game Saturday, barely lost yesterday and won today!  To see how she has improved is awesome!!!  She is truly having the best school year she has had for as long as I can remember.  She has straight A's, is feeling confident and is involved in extra-curriculars.  WOW!!

She is the winner in our family while I feel like the Loser!  I still can't shake my frustration with what is going on with me right now.  I went to school for 2 years to earn this extra certification and unfortunately I am in a holding pattern, well maybe a slight slope downward with my situation at my job.  Let's pray that something gives....

To take this to even lower level, I allowed this frustration to bubble over and lash out at my youngest daughter.  She is an amazing girl - super smart, extremely sweet, and probably has the most spiritual, gracious heart of anyone I know.  I broke tonight and yelled at her for reasons so unimportant in hindsight that my eyes are tearing up as I type this.  I have apologized, comforted her and discussed the situation that brought about the confrontation but I know that the damage is done - the words I said and the tone of my voice can not be retracted.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't curse at her or tear her down, but I did upset her and that is wrong.  I want the best for my kids - I sometimes confuse what I want for them for what they want and is best for them.  No matter  what is going on with me, I have to step back and separate my issues from my parenting.  My next reaction will be to close my eyes, communicate with God to let it go and then turn my focus on what he has given me - my wonderful family!

In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak, who are caught in the schemes he devises.

—Psalm 10:2

I am not calling my children weak (verseoftheday.com), I am calling myself wicked and arrogant!

Dear Lord,

Please forgive me for not respecting the gift you have lent me; my children.  They are not mine, they are yours and I need to remember that.  I know that although I may feel like I am facing a storm, I know you are the calmer of the storms.  You can allow men to walk on water in the roughest of seas!  I ask you to give me the strength to climb out of the boat and meet you on the water.  I thank you for all that you have blessed me with - I know that the simple things I take for granted are blessings that countless others would not take for granted.  I know that you are with me always and are carrying me through this.  You will guide me; I have to remember to be quiet and listen to you!