End of the Month Round up

I have calmed down and relaxed a little since Friday...  That day took pretty much everything out of me.  I was so excited to have my husband home but so upset with how the day had played out.  I needed him home; to talk to, to comfort me and to just relax with.  His day had been crazy too so we were able to commiserate together which was nice (in a weird way!).

Saturday was exciting!  My daughter's team won their 1st volleyball game of the season (which is almost over)!  They have improved so much over the weeks and I love to watch them play together and the true teamwork and camaraderie that has developed.  They have a few more games this week ending in the season ending tournaments on Saturday.  She has grown so much from this experience and I am so proud of her!  We went to church and I am very excited about our series that we are coming into - I am looking forward to seeing the part I play in God's plan.

Today we celebrated our library building's 10th anniversary.  As a board member, this was a nice event to look back at where the library has come in our community.  The event was very nicely done - the picture boards that were put together were great!  It was nice to see people I haven't gotten to see in several years :)

The weekend was also productive!  I am almost finished with my application for my girl's school so that I can start to substitute there when I am off at my job (especially now with my hours being cut), I have been working on my resume and I think I have another idea for a possibility for subbing that I will work on once I find out for sure what hours are being cut.

I am trying really hard to let go and let God; I recognize that I have to make decisions but knowing that God is in control really helps alleviate the pressure associated with those.  I know that He will guide me as long as I am quiet and allow Him to speak!

"There is a choice you make in everything you do. So keep in mind that in the end, the choice you make, makes you." ~ John Wooden

Welcome to Crummy Day....Party of 1

Could a Friday really be so bad???  Let's put it this way, if I could get a redo button on today, I am scared to push it for fear that it really could make it worse if possible.  :(

My husband has been in California for the last 2 days and today he will be home!  Yeah!!  I mention this because 2 weeks ago, he didn't know he would be leaving so he volunteered to provide transportation for my youngest daughter for a school field trip.  Guess who had to step in?  Not that big of a deal except the details were not all provided so the return trip back to school was a rather large gray area.  This morning the teacher seemed to not know that I was not going to actually spend the day at the field trip and then told me that I would need to be back at 2:15 to take the kids back to school.  I work until 3:15.  Anyone see a problem?  I went to work and discussed the situation and unfortunately was told it wouldn't work out.  Heart crushing, stomach churning disappointment.  I later realized that this was only part of the story.  After work, I was given some more disappointing news about my job.  Without going into details, I will be working less; this would be okay if it would allow me to work somewhere else to make up the difference.  This is an issue that apparently I have to work out.   Immediately following this not so great news, I get a phone call from my girls that they were at school waiting for me to pick them up; school had been out for almost an hour.  UGH!!

I drove to get the girls crying about how disappointing my day had been; I even left a tearful message for my poor husband who was hours away from being able to talk with me.  I thought I had pulled myself together until my youngest opened the car door and I saw the look in her eyes and on her face of sadness and disappointment in her field trip transportation.  I broke down again and apologized through my tears while crying and telling them about my day as I tearfully drove home.  To say that I have been blessed with 2 sweet, kind-hearted, and spiritual girls would be just touching the tip of the iceberg.  They were completely understanding and uplifting as they listened to me vent and offered me their love and support.

The good news is I will get to see my husband shortly and he will ground me and advise me!  There are far worse positions to be in - I am healthy, blessed and am keeping my focus on the fact that if God is closing a door, he will open and window or I will wait on my knees in the hallway waiting for His direction.

Verse of the day (verseoftheday.com) truly works for me today!!!

...so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.

—Hebrews 9:28

Head above water

The past few days feel like I am treading water and the shoreline isn't in sight.....

Not sure why I feel so anxious.  There is some uncertainty with my life right now, but isn't there always?  I am not the one with the answers...  I have to keep reminding myself of that and instead of feeling down, remember to bow down.

Can I just tell you how much I cannot wait for this month to be over???  I am so ready to move on and into full fall mode of October!  I love the cool evenings, the pumpkins (food, decorations) and all the festivities.  Our community Fall Fest is a month away and things are still working to get everything in place.  This is a great event for our community and I love being a key factor in making sure it all goes off well!

Weight loss update - haven't been on a scale in 2 weeks (avoidance!) and have been really pushing myself to up my water intake.  The good news my bladder will be nice and clean - I am pumping the water through in hopes of losing the water weight and kicking my metabolism up.  My workout routine is non-existant :(  I have got to get moving!!!

Is it the weekend yet?

Can I tell you how much I am ready for this week to be over???  It hasn't been a bad week, just minor things that I am ready to move on from!

Remember how I did the Segway tour last weekend?  Living Social had a deal on for another tour so I bought it!  Hope to be able to take another tour before the weather turns :)

Randomness is how I will describe my weekend plans - laundry, resume and cover letter to reapply for my library board position, application to sub at my kids school (for when I am off work), catch up on Bible reading, work out, and help out at an open house our school is holding.  My daughter has VB Saturday freeing up most of the day for me to get some stuff done - as long as I don't procrastinate which is one of my weaknesses.....

Good news is although I haven't weighed myself recently, I have noticed a slight difference in how my clothes are fitting!  I can't wait to see how the metamorphosis continues as I really kick my lazy butt in gear and get back on track food wise!

2 For Tuesday

Brief synopsis of yesterday and today:

Could Monday have been any more of a "Monday"?  The work day was ok - not much to discuss there.  I came home and had to do a 1 1/2 hour on-line training for a new program at work which wasn't a big deal, just took up that time.  As soon as that was over, I had a call from my mom about something technology related that I couldn't help her with...  Hung up with her to have my mother-in-law call me and tell me she had just been rear-ended and that her car was totaled.  Hung up with her to run and go pick up my daughter from VB game (loss) and come home to find out the dog had just gotten out and a neighbor had helped catch him.  After all that excitement, the normal prep for the next day of school evening stuff...  Needless to say, I was WIPED OUT!!  No exercise = sucky!!  I Have to make time for myself; the question is how and when???

So today was an okay day as well - nothing of real interest actually.  What can I say?  I never told anyone my life was exciting!!  I did get a brief walk in with a few jogs mixed in when I walked the dog - that counts right??  I say yes!

Tomorrow is always a new day :)  My goal is to work out in the morning - but did I mention I am NOT a morning person??  I can and sometimes do stay in bed until noon on a Saturday!  So this takes more than regular motivation for me......

Weekend in Review

To start, I feel soooo much better!  Fortunately, I was feeling better Friday so that was good!

I told my husband that from now on, we aren't going to schedule Segway tours so far out - a day or 2 notice is all we are going to do because when we book weeks out, the weather on the day we go seems to change uncharacteristically.  The week was nice weather - sunny and 70's.  Friday, not so much - cloudy, windy and highs in the low to mid 60's.  I ended up wearing a scarf, jacket and took gloves!  I didn't wear the gloves, but the jacket and scarf served me well!  The tour was good - I liked our Cincinnati tour better though.  The nice thing about the Dayton tour is that you are on the bike trail for a while and get to go max speed (12 mph) on the Segway!  We had a lot of fun and I didn't wreck :)

After the tour, we went to dinner at Jay's - that was truly for me; my husband doesn't eat seafood and neither do my best friend and her husband.  Side note - my husband has taken me to Jay's several times over the years and we have always enjoyed it but this time the service wasn't so great and the food was just okay - definitely not worth the $$$ that was spent.  I appreciate that he wanted to take me there and do a nice dinner!

We walked around the Oregon District for a bit then headed north to Scene 75.  That place is pretty cool!  It is like a Dave and Buster's but includes a go-kart track and laser tag.  My amazing husband not only loaded up our game card nicely, he also set up and paid for a game card (and put $$ on it) for my best friend and her husband!!!  How awesome is that???  He wanted to make sure everyone had a great time and not worry about $ to play!  And play we did!  The go-karts were so fun!!  The laser tag made me laugh so hard!  My husband was the top scorer of the game but our team lost :(  We had a great time!

Saturday was a nice day  - the weather was much nicer than Friday (of course!).  I took the girls down to Kenwood Towne Centre after my daughter's volleyball games so that she could get Uggs that would be personalized.  The basically "Bedazzled" them and she loves them so I am happy too!  Not only did she love her Uggs, she found a new hobby - we stopped at Michael's on our way home to get materials so that she can start "bedazzling" and embellishing stuff herself.  She made herself a volleyball themed shirt that looks really cute!

Today was church and I have a confession to make.  I wasn't looking forward to going at all!  I love my church however the speaker that was speaking today has never been one of my favorites.  The fact that the girls have to go and take sermon notes for school forced me to go no matter what I was feeling though.  So we go and the music starts and WOW!  Our song service today was AMAZING!!  The church goes by the motto "The flock that isn't afraid to rock" and today they followed that motto for sure.  After the praise songs, we sat down and got to hear and watch them perform "Bittersweet Symphony"!  How many churches perform that??  Oh, that's right - not many!  And they killed it!!  So no matter how the rest of the service was going to go, I was happy that the first half had been fantastic.  I braced myself to have to sit through the rest and God basically put me in my place - the service was great!  From start to finish, I had a great worship experience!  It is sooo not about me - I was there to be shown that today for sure.  So thanks for the reminder Lord ;)

Now to start this week off right!  Since being under the weather last week, I got pretty much no exercise in and was frustrated seeing my bottom half reflected in the mirror but have to remind myself that this is a journey and sometimes there are detours, bumps and yields.  Tomorrow is a new day!  

My Stupid Mouth...

Have you ever heard the song "My Stupid Mouth" by John Mayer?  If not, here is a link to an acoustic version:

John Mayer My Stupid Mouth

I love the song, always have, and today I truly relate!  Remember yesterday when I was talking about my birthday and I said I wasn't spoiled and that I just really like birthdays?  Well, I do really like birthdays but I guess I am a little spoiled.  My 40th birthday (the actual day) didn't live up to my great expectations in my mind.  It was a Monday - not a great day to celebrate.  My daughter had a volleyball game until 6:00 about a 1/2 hour away so a late dinner.  My husband didn't even come home until after he picked her up and I had only seen him briefly in the morning when he was jokingly giving me a hard time about my age.  I guess in my mind this birthday would be something crazy special.  Don't get me wrong - the presents were amazing and I truly enjoy an evening out with the family!

Tomorrow we are going on a Segway tour with my best friend and her husband.  We have been on one before and had a blast so I am really looking forward to it!  The weather will be nice and Segways are just FUN!  That leads me to tonight....  We were driving to pick up my daughter from volleyball and I asked my husband what we were doing after the tour.  I said, "I hope it is something fun because my birthday kinda sucked."  UGH!!!!   Open mouth and insert foot!!!  I immediately tried to retract my words but they were already out and heard :(  I explained that I meant everything I just explained the previous paragraph but too late....the feelings were hurt and I was the culprit.  That sucks!  My wonderful husband just said, "Then tomorrow should be good."  Of course tomorrow will be good!!  And I will appreciate the time out with him and my friends and have a great time no matter what!

The irony of this is that one of birthday presents is a wonderful bracelet and the inspirational quote is:

Guess I need to wear that more and give thanks to God more.  I am blessed and need to keep that at the forefront of my wandering mind!  

Lesson hopefully learned :)

Birthday Bliss??

I hit a milestone in my life!  I have officially left my 30's behind and moved into my 40's!

I LOVE birthdays!  Not just my own, I love birthdays in general.  I love people saying Happy Birthday, love celebrating and love presents.  I love presents for any and all occasions - I like to give them and watch people open them and love to receive as well.  I am not calling myself spoiled as I am not - I have what I need in life, but not all that I want - finances do not allow that :)  My day was good - a beautiful day!  My family took me to dinner (Tumbleweed) and dessert (frozen yogurt).  I was treated to some wonderful gifts:

Lenny and Eva cuff bracelet and large sentiment - If you do not know this jewelry, you should!  They are all about inspiration!  I want/need about 30 more ;)

Tiffany sunglasses - I wanted these and originally had made a deal with my husband to earn them for losing weight.  I didn't make the deadline but received them as a gift!

By the time we got home, I felt CRAPPY!!  My sinuses were out of control!  My head was hurting and my nose was running - UGH :(  This horrible cold has carried on all September 11th and still going strong today.  Over the counter meds don't touch it at all - hateful cold!  

So that is where I am now - sickly and old (HA!)  My resolution to kick off my 40th working out and eating better has been a crash and burn until I feel better.  Hoping this cold tapers off quickly before my motivation does....

Ironically, the verse of the day is this:

On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick."

—Matthew 9:12

Fall Kick Off

My goal was to write daily but it didn't happen yesterday so today's post will be a compilation of the past 2 days.

Yesterday I woke up after sleeping in a bit and noticed that it was bright and sunny outside!  YEAH!!  I took a quick shower and headed downstairs to feel how warm it was.  I stepped outside and the sun felt amazing!  I decided that I would take a little time to myself to enjoy laying out and soaking up some rays.  I put on my suit, put out my reclining chair, grabbed a few towels, got a drink and took a book outside and settled in.  Less than 5 minutes outside, the sun decided that was enough for me.  :(

This is what I got instead of sun 

After shivering for several minutes trying to wait for the clouds to pass, I went inside and then found out why I was so cold...

BRRRRRR!!!  (At least for laying out!)

Back inside I went to relax instead.  I opted to spend my time watching movie trailers on Apple TV.  I LOVE movie trailers - I get upset when I miss them because I am late to a movie and am a little disappointed when they are finished so the main showing can begin.  There are some good movies coming and some strange ones!

Our church had their fall kick off for Jr. High ministries so we went a little early and when we entered the main sanctuary, I felt like I was entering a tree nursery!!

I LOVE our church and thrive on going and growing each week :)  So much so that I was back again this morning to volunteer at the kids welcome desk.  

As I write this, I am less than an hour away from September 10th - my 40th birthday!  To me, age is truly a number but as the minutes tick, I am struck that this number is a pretty big one!  I had such high expectations of what I wanted to be like when I turned 40 that I am not going to hit, but I have now changed my resolve to make 40 my year!  That weight I have been fighting with - I will win!  My priorities on faith and family - they will take top marks!  Making time for myself to improve (work out, meditate) - I have to do it!  

But since I had one last day...  

My husband took the family out to dinner since my birthday falls on a Monday :(  My daughter has a volleyball game and Monday in our house is usually a packed day anyway.  So I ate far too much!!!  Not on purpose, but for some reason, even though I didn't want to keep eating, I did!  UGH!!!  We had mexican food for dinner and then Graeter's ice cream for dessert.  I opted for the S'Mores sundae and honestly felt sick after about 10 bites!  I never get a sundae and this one was loaded - chocolate, chocolate chip ice cream, marshmallow, hot fudge, waffle cone pieces and whipped cream!  I came home with a bit of a belly ache and even threw 1/2 of it away.  I figured that since that was kinda my birthday dinner I may as well do it up because the year of 40 and getting fabulous starts tomorrow!  

Fall kick off - back to school, sweatshirts, a new season for me as I turn 40 and a kick off of really putting time into improving myself.  I have "tried" to lose these hateful pounds that I have battled for 2 years but if I were truly being honest, I haven't been as diligent as I need to be.  So now the kick off has begun!  I will do what is needed as I have now put it out there :)  Stay tuned to see how my body and mindset take shape.....

For the Dogs

This blog is really not about dogs I promise!  I am all about improving myself and this is my way to chronicle how my journey is progressing.  It just so happens that my journey with the blog coincides with rough days with my dog.  Ironic or meaningful??  Is this happening to really make me introspective on how I view life or is my rescue dog just about to need to be rescued again?  :)  I kid, I kid!  He is not going back or being given up - that is not how life works!  I mess up daily with my walk with my Father and yet he never gives up one me.

See - maybe this experience is a teaching lesson!

Dog Days

Today I decided to leave Quint out of his kennel and see how he would do with free reign in the house.  I thought I had "dog proofed" the house last night and even went over it again today before I left.  I left out a few toys and left my caution with the wind as I closed the garage door.  I could see him watching me leave from the front window and I considered going back and putting him in his kennel but kept going.  I called my husband on my way to work and told him what I had done.  Not to stretch out the conversation, the quick summary is that he wasn't happy!

So now lets fast forward 7 hours....  Did I say that I was leaving him for 7 hours??  Yes, I did that - I left a dog home alone for the first time ever for 7 hours!!!  What was I thinking????????  I could barely open the garage door into the house because of the debris.  My heart sank :(  I turned the corner to see the floor scattered with ripped up pieces of whatever.  He was super excited to see me - or maybe just pretending to be excited so as to offset my displeasure.  After I found his collar, I put him outside and began to pick up the mess.

Disaster summary:

*Wii plus silicone cover
*Wii golf club
*Rubbermaid container (contains coffee beans - not opened fortunately just had bite marks)
*2 Silicone cupcake molds I use for my daughters lunchbox
*A cork - there were several more but I can't find them so I guess he had a good fiber intake today!
*His "poop bag" container that attaches to his retractable leash - he chewed the rubber strap
*A beach ball - not just any beach ball; one designed by and used by my husband for a campaign

The other mess was a compilation of things he had pulled down; my Longaberger recipe basket (recipes EVERYWHERE), dishes that had been left out to dry, dog toys he pulled down - this one is my fault!  I left them in a plastic bag out in the open!  He drug out my husband's watch (he never wears) but did not destroy it :)  And, he decided that since no one was home, the furniture looked pretty comfortable.

The point of this blog is to look at things from a new perspective so here is my twist: Quint is uninjured;  which I can't say would be the case if he tried to escape from his kennel again.  Nothing of real value was destroyed and even if it were (I would be livid and very sad), material things are just that; things.  They can be replaced (when we have $ - not now).  When I told my husband the extent of the damage, he was actually not mad; he was pretty impressed that for 7 hours with no instruction or building up it could have been much worse.  That is good - I didn't want him upset with me!

My take away - I am reminded that nothing is mine; everything I have has been graciously provided to me for use while I am here on Earth by a loving God who wants me to be happy.  So today, I choose happiness!

Side note:  the kennel will be back in use as we build up the staying home alone thing ;)

Where to start????

So my life is not much different from everyone else's probably...

Every day is a battle!  A battle to eat right to keep my weight in check.  A battle to keep my head above water financially (especially in September since I don't get paid over summer!).  A battle to "do the right thing" which may vary substantially depending on the day.  A battle to balance home, work and still have time for myself.  A battle to keep up on menial tasks - cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc...  A battle to be a good role model for the kids at school.  A battle to be a great mom; be there for my girls but also teach them to be responsible for themselves.  Isn't everyone a warrior?

Today our dog, Quint, a rescue dog truly had a battle of his own.  Since I am now back to work most of the day, he has to be kenneled as we have only had him about a month and are not sure how he would treat the house if left alone.  He battled the kennel and won!  My husband came home at lunch and walked into a bit of a mess (fortunately not potty related).  He had to bend the kennel door back into place and put Quint back in when he left for work.  Fast forward to when I got home and was greeted by a black tail wagging behind the couch looking like a shark fin moving in on its prey.  He again had "Houdini-ed" his way out of his kennel.  How he got through a 3 inch opening without killing or hurting himself is a miracle.

My life is like that - not wanting to be left alone and even worse, not wanting to be isolated and left alone.  Aren't we all trying to break out of our kennels??  Aren't we all looking for companionship, comfort and a forever home?  Well, here I am...  breaking out of my kennel and putting it out there for the world to read.  My life may not be perfect, I may not be at the weight I want and I may not be as wealthy as I think I need to be, but my needs are provided for and then some!  God has given me so much more than most and keeping that in perspective is my new way of looking out the windows waiting for My Owner to come home :)